The best candidate for the job?

Mayoral campaign deploys new social media strategy

A local mayoral campaign's unique get out the vote tactic is raising questions among Anchorage's male population. "I'm personally very disappointed," said Saul Molliver, a college student who says he is in his "late mid-twenties".

Molliver, 28, was contacted by someone through the popular online dating app Tinder earlier this week. "She just said, like, hey, let's meet at the library. So I was like, yeah, okay, that's cool. You must be, like, smart--that's hot."

But the woman had an unusual request for Molliver when they met in person. "She was like, hey, we should go vote together. That'd be, like, super romantic." Molliver, unaware of the ongoing  mayoral campaign, pressed her for more information. "I tried to play it off like I knew what she was talking about, so I was like, 'yeah, totally,' and asked her who she was voting for. She told me I should vote for this Amy lady who, is apparently, like, really awesome, or something."

Molliver cast his ballot for Anchorage Assembly Member Amy Demboski, but upon exiting the voting booth, his date was nowhere to be found. "I just figured she was, like, in the bathroom or something," Molliver said, "but after, like a half hour, I decided to go look in the book area for her. Nope, not there either."

When he finally did locate his date, Molliver says she was leading another man up to the library's early voting sign-in desk. "It was messed up, ya know, like, what, I didn't vote fast enough for you, so you just go find another guy. Not cool."

While he maintains that he is disappointed in her behavior, Molliver says he would consider seeing the woman again, on the condition that she returns one of the numerous text messages he sent her this week.

This piece is satire, obviously.

Walker asks Fish and Game to relocate Prevo, Mudflats team

For the second time in two weeks, Alaska Governor Bill Walker called Fish and Game commissioner Sam Cotten to request the relocation of nuisance species from the Anchorage area. In April, Walker requested that a black bear sow and four cubs be relocated from the Government Hill neighborhood. On Friday, he placed a similar call to request the relocation of Anchorage Baptist Temple Pastor Jerry Prevo and the Mudflats blog team.

"I've been following the situation in Anchorage closely," Walker said, "and after several meetings with my staff, we came to the conclusion that this is the best solution for everyone involved."

Both Prevo and the Mudflats team have been mired in public controversy in the week before Anchorage's mayoral election. On Sunday, Prevo used his pulpit to accuse a candidate of supporting incestuous relations between a father and son. Just days later, a Mudflats blog published another candidate's 1997 divorce papers. Both actions drew widespread criticism as politically motivated low-blows.

Local sportsman and former mayoral candidate Andrew Halcro has stepped forward and offered his land as a new location for the two displaced pundits. "I've got a huge tract of remote land on the Kenai we can put them on," Halcro said in a satellite phone interview, "I'm always willing to offer a pragmatic solution to any difficult problem, and will personally guarantee they won't wander back into the city."

Halcro (File photo)

This writing is satire, obviously.

Amy on park access